Let's be best friends!!!

Okay the next thing that I really think has had an impact of my self confidence was my friends. I am not going to spend your valuable time to write out every person that I have ever called friend. It is just too ridiculous and I am not going to go on and on about the people that I love. Plus I wouldn't be able to talk about everyone and that really stinks. I have wonderful friends. I feel so blessed to have such great friends. Now that I have told you what I am not going to do, how about I tell you the game plan. Let's talk about some of the stages of friendship and the things that I have learned from my friends. 

I have had a lot of friends in my life. Some of them have come and gone. Most of them will always be my friends. No matter how far apart we are we will always be friends! 

During the early years of school I had a lot of friends come in and out of my life. I jumped in and out of friend groups week to week. A group of girls in my 5rd grade class started burn books. I quickly Aline's myself with a group of girls that did not participate. I thought that was pretty horrid so I started writing down nice things about people and the rest of the girls followed suit.  Man it was a mess for a few months. Everyone was trying to find out what was written in the burn books. On the other hand, we openly told people what we had written. It was nice and everyone enjoyed hearing the positive things we noticed. When our teacher found out about the books I still got called down the the principal's office and had to show my book and what was written. The others girls got in trouble and I got a stuffed whale! From these friends I learned that I wanted to be friends with nice people. Even if it isn't popular it always wins out in the end. Be nice! 

In middle school, I joined a group of friends. It was decided that pony tails were too preppy and skater shoes were the only proper attire allowed for our friends. Hahaha Now I have always had a tendency towards skater shoes because honestly they are super comfy and I just like them.  However these weren't really long lasting friends because the friendship was based off of shoe choices. I didn't know them and they didn't know me. Which is super sad. We were situational friends. All of us in this group didn't fit the "norm" and thus we sought safety with each other. Truly the idea of a norm is total hogwash, but I didn't know that then. 

From these friends I realized that I didn't want to limit myself. I didn't want to belong to any group that gave qualifications and I just like to be myself. Skater shoes and all! ;) 

(Totally had a pair of these! Loved them!) 

I spent alot of time in high school telling my friends no. No let's don't do that...because it is a bad idea. No I don't want to. No...no...no. Looking back there were a few times that my Motherly instinct was helpful and stop us from just wasting time and money on things that were really dumb, but mostly I was probably annoying. 

Be smart. Don't do anything that is dangerous, but don't be that person that is so worried about everything that you won't do anything. It is a balance for sure, but it is worth finding. Once we were having a sleep over and we decided to look at the stars from the roof of my friends bedroom. We all climbed out and sat on the roof. I was cold and I asked for someone to grab my socks. One girl was still in the room, she grabbed a pair of socks and tossed then out to me. I didn't catch them...they fell off the roof on to the ground. hahaha We go caught on the roof, because of those socks. Dang socks! It was hilarious! 

The other thing I learned during this period is expressed well by owl city and Carley Rae Jepson "we don't ever have to try, it's always a good time". I spend hours and hours with these people doing all kinds of things that shouldn't be fun, but there were. We had "slipper fights" which is pretty much what it sounds like. You just kind of slap at each other with slippers. I have no idea how this came to be but it was so funny! I went to prom with some of these friends. We spent about 20 minutes at the dance then  bailed. We went home and made pudding, played apples to apples, and joked around for hours! It was awesome. It was so fun and it only mattered that we were all together having a good time. It doesn't matter how long we are apart when we get together things are always fun!

The most important thing I have learned is to open up. When I left for college I went alone. My Dad dropped me off at the airport, hugged me, and said "go to class and don't talk to boys". Haha I was nervous. I didn't have any friends, but I kept telling myself I would find some fiends. Well I did! They have made all the difference in my college career. We have pretty much done everything together and have made tons of memories. At first we were good friends because we were all in the same situations, but soon we started to open up to each other. We started to talk and talk about real things. All of the people that have influenced my life have done so because they were willing to share parts of their soul with me and I likewise shared with them. Don't be afraid to open up and let people see your struggles. It will bring you closer together!  I just love you people! Have a lovely day/weekend/year/life! Thank you for being my friends! We couldn't do this alone! 

Here is my challenge this week, reach out to someone who has touched your life! 

Practice makes progress!

I have found that everything in life takes practice. How do we learn how to walk and talk? We practice. How do we learn how to play instruments, gain muscle, or juggle? We practice. Self-esteem is the same way. We must practice. The absolute best advice I will ever be able to give is to sit down, write out some ways to be more kind and understanding for yourself and others, and then practice. Practice makes perfect. I had a French teacher in middle school that said "perfect practice makes perfect". She said that it doesn't do any good to practice if you are never going to improve. I agree with her, but I also don't agree. I agree that while we practice we must find ways to improve. If we do not we will never progress, but I do not believe that one can be perfect. This implies that you has no room to improve, that you have reached the absolute best. What does that even mean? Does it exist? I have been practicing for an interview at a new job. Could I ever have a perfect interview? Without any hesitation, cockiness, fear, or wrong answers. I don't think so. Anyway, it isn't worth worrying about. Practice makes progress! That is what we are going for people, progress.


                                   (Found http://www.newmanagement.com/tips/images/sign8.jpg)

I totally thought I made this phrase up, but then I typed it into google...yeah I wasn't the first. C'est la vie! 

When I was younger I practiced liking myself. I would take time each day to remind myself about something that I liked about myself or that I was good at. I can say with confidence now that I am awesome and I like myself, because I have practiced. It seems silly to say, but this is what it takes. It takes reminders, sticky notes, phone alerts, and time. I have been known to have my phone remind me to write down something I like about myself. There is no shame in that! Put a sticky note on the bathroom mirror saying, "You are beautiful! You are enough! You are doing great!" 

Sit down and write one way to improve your self-esteem. Everyone will have different problem areas. One thing that I am working on is self deprecation. Let's be honest, I use humor to dispel awkward moments. Often the humor I use can be in a negative manner towards myself, because in my mind this will make the other person smile, forget their troubles, or feel better. It works...sometimes...not really...mostly it just makes things more awkward...so...yeah. No the best idea and I am working on it. I am practicing attention. I am trying to pay attention to the thoughts that enter my mind before I open my mouth. Then before I open my mouth I can decide whether this comment is helpful or hurtful to anyone including myself. I am no expert, but it gets easier with time. 

      (Found http://blog.livlane.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/You-Are-Enough-with-URL-700x466.jpg)

Another thing that most people should work on is negative thinking. Let's be more positive. Now I don't want us all to ignore reality and expect everything to be chocolate and candy canes, but let's work on being more positive. Where do you think this comes into play for you? What area of your life could use a little more positivity? When you start to tell yourself that everything is going wrong and that nothing ever goes your way...stop. I know that sounds way too easy and it is easier said that done, but if you make a goal and set reminders to stop and think about the reality of the situation, you will be able to stop the negative thinking. Here is an example...many college students stress out about exams. If I do poorly on this exam I will fail the class. If I fail the class I will not have good grades. If I do not have good grades I will not be able to get into grad school or get a good job. If I don't get a good job I will be poor and unhappy. Therefore the stress I was feeling about this exam has amplified, because according to this way of thinking I must to well on this exam to get a good job and have a happy life. This is what we call black and white thinking. Things are either wonderful or catastrophic. This gets us no where and it tweaks reality. In reality if I do not do well I will probably be able to get a decent grade in my class if I put in effort and it probably won't effect my future job or happiness. However you may have read through that and realized that this is something you do often. In fact it is very common. It is also very debilitating. Don't let small things get you down.

                      But if you do actually have catastrophe strike I hope you are as calm as this fellow. 

So stop it! Hahaha really though make a goal and set reminders to consciously think about the pathway of your thoughts. Make judgement calls based on reality. You can't ignore stressors, life is full of them. Most of which we must address, but don't blow it all out of proportion and cause enormous stress levels.

We will talk more about stress, because I have lots to say about it (since I took an entire class on stress management and it pretty much changed my life...however I am still managing my stress day to day through PRACTICE!)

This week set an alarm on your phone twice a day. Set some fun ring tone and practice boosting your self-esteem. my alarm goes off and reminds me that I am doing my best. Not only do I love having my phone give me positive feedback I also am reminded to work hard to make that statement true. You are enough! You are beautiful! Go and live you beautiful people you!

I have no more crashes to report, and for that I am grateful. I am however spending lots of time on my bike exploring Houston.