Please Don't Stop the Music...

Man, Tuesdays come around so frequently. I always plan on sitting down and typing my posts out before the day of the posting. Yeah...no.

I have thought alot about what should come next in my story of self discovery, but every time I would sit down to think about it my mind was filled with music. I always have a song stuck in my head. ALWAYS! Sometimes I wake up in then morning with a song already stuck in my head. For some reason "Where Are You Christmas?" is a frequent mind occupant. So strange!

I love music, who doesn't really? Not liking music is like not liking puppies! It just isn't human!
Are we human or are we dancer? Anyway...

When you look up the most popular twitter accounts, of the top ten twitter accounts 8/10 are musicians. Katy perry wins it with about 52 million followers. 52 MILLION!!!!! I think is a perfect representation of the influence music has on the public. 52 million people care what Katy Perry thinks, even if it is about the sandwich she ate for lunch. Just think about that, think of the power that music can hold!

I love music (there will be quite a few links to songs in this post, humor me will ya?) and while I was growing up music was really important to me. It still is! I love the comfort I find in a familiar song (such as this one that always makes me feel like my Mom is giving me a big'ole hug). Something that really made me feel comfortable no matter where I happened to be. I love the joy found in belting out my favorite lyrics. I always smile when the song "Reflection" from the movie Mulan plays and every girl in the room starts screaming "Who is that girl I see, starring straight back at me? When will my reflection show who I am inside?" I love to watch the men stare in utter confusion! Music makes us feel connected. It helps me to see that I am not the only person who thinks a certain way. Every time I sing "Deifying Gravity" from the musical Wicked I feel connected to Elphaba! I feel like she and are both in the same boat. I am not exactly in her boat but college is pretty much the same thing as being hunted down by a mad wizard. Right? 

Music can be very motivating! On Mondays I sometimes listen to this song to help me get through the long ones. For some reason, Andy can always help me keep going when the day gets long, even when it is only 8am!

For some reason when I work out I really love listening to 80's music! It is fabulous and it really motivates me to keep up the work! Among my top 25 most frequently played song is this gem from the 80's! I also LOVE Whitney Houston and when I am running along and I want to quit I turn on this amazing track! Please pay attention to the really great dance moves!

I have discussed in previous posts about my love for the Beach Boys! I could listen to "Surfin' USA" all day any day! Music can really take you back to a happy memory! Just 5 minutes ago while looking up songs for this post I stumbled onto this beauty from middle school. My roommate and I still know all the words. It took me back to the day when I listened to everything my older sisters' did just so I could be like them! 

I also love pop music! I have a secret love for dancing music! It is so fun and up beat. I also have a not-so-secret love for dancing. Which is probably why I love pop music so much! You can't dance without music (well you CAN, but the people in the grocery stores always look so concerned). 

As we think about the effect that music can have on our entire society think about the music you listen to. I was listening to Pandora the other day and this song came on. I knew all the words and although I don't own this song and I haven't listened to it since high school I was so surprised at the lyrics. Just be aware that music does have an influence. You can help or hinder an emotional response by music choice. Music that is degrading, detrimental, or depressing doesn't make you feel better. It just makes it all worse.

I have really noticed that music helps me to stay positive. I get up disgustingly early for work and when my alarm goes off I dread rolling out of my beautiful bed and getting ready for the day. So I pop in my headphones and jam out to something that I really love (I am sure it would be really creepy to watch me as I am mouth the words and dance around silently so I don't wake my roommate).

When I am feeling blue, because I just found out that the guy that I was thinking about liking (haha I hope you know what I am talking about cause this is a real state of thought for me) has a girlfriend I love to sing loudly to this. Obviously this is a real stretch from my actual situation, but this song still makes me feel empowered to keep positive!

This week try to use music to keep up motivation and positive thinking! When you are feeling...any emotion think about how music could help! It works for me! And of course...don't stop believing!

What music do you love? How has it effected your life? 

Until next week, love y'all!

(Look at how cute this pig is! I just love it!!!) 

Bruises from Bullies

There is this song that I listened to as a kid, it says "I think about every moment that I can remember." 

I do this alot. I just sit and think about all the memories that I have. This mostly explains why I bust out laughing while walking home DAILY! I am pretty sure that everyone I pass thinks that I am totally mental. But until I am attacked by two men with a straight jacket I won't worry too much about it. Anyway, I think about elementary school during my reminiscent moments. I remember so many things that were only significant to me. 
I remember how hard it was for me to learn to read (sometimes I still randomly add letters to words). I remember when we read Mr. Popper's Penguins and we got to take home the penguin for a week. I remember how mad I was when our student teacher let Matt Stewart take it home for keeps! I hope Matt still has that penguin! I also remember when slam books were popular in fifth grade. I remember when I made an enemy, hurt her feelings, and she never seemed to forgive me. I remember in high school when I managed to find medium ground. I wasn't popular, but I was liked by pretty much everyone. I found friends that liked me for me and we proceeded to have a blast for four years!  Freshman year I got suspended (I should write that story up someday...it is golden!), sophomore year we had a snowball fight during french class, junior year I found a love for American history, senior year my friends and I made a catapult that took second prize in our physics competition. 
Looking back on my life the great moments far out weight the bad! 

This week I have talked to alot of people about bullying, which is our topic for the today. I can say with certainty that at some point every child who interacts with...anyone will be physically, verbally, or cyber bullied. In a study done in 2009 it was found that 20.8% of sampled children had been physically bullied, 53.6% had been verbally bullied, 51.4% had been socially bullied, and 13.6% had been electronically bullied within the last 2 months (Wang, 2009). The bruises from bullies are not always visible. Many are the product of rude comments and hurtful teasing. They are under the surface, but they are real. 

I was talking to my Mom this week about bullying. I recited some of the hurtful things that I did, were done to me, and were done to my friends while I was growing up. She asked me if she should have stepped in during some of the targeted rudeness. I thought for a moment and explained that I probably would have been picked on even more if my Mom had come in and made a big deal about it. I don't think that a parent needs to transform into a lioness and start attacking when anyone wounds their cub. 

However, I do think that parents need to discuss bullying with children. Even before they really understand what "bullying" really means. Talk to them about these things so that they understand and  cope when the situation arises. It WILL. In some way, some day, to someone it will happen! The bruises from bullies can be deep and long lasting if a child is unable to cope with the situation properly. 

I found this website about bullying very helpful! 

The general idea is this: 

Talk about it!
It is important to discuss these things BEFORE they are a problem.

Keep communication open.
I would like to add: ask specifically about bullying! My Mom has been my best friend ever since I can remember. Yet I didn't really tell her about the hurtful things that happened as school to myself or friends. ASK questions and probe! Sometimes we don't tell anyone, because once spoken it doesn't not seem to hold the same value that it did before. This is all the more reason to ask questions. It can be therapeutic to talk things out, but to do make light of something that was significant to the other person. Your child may not wish to talk about bullying because they fear that you will not understand the magnitude of hurt this cause. 

Model Kindness 
I think this is really important. Make sure that children get positive reinforcement, so that the negative reinforcement received through other pathways will not surpass the positive. 

I don't feel that the hurtful things that have been said to me during the years have surpassed the good reinforcement that I received from family and friends. But I do remember these things and they have had an impact on me. Maybe these things taught me to be kind to others, to notice when someone was treated unkindly, and most of all to rectify any wrongs.

Teach kindness, show kindness, and ask!

Really quickly I would like to touch on the recipient of the hurt. If you feel offended, talk to someone and then let it go. Don't let someone ruin your happiness. You deserve to be happy! 

This week, find ways to build people up and heal the bruises from bullies!

Let's change the world one heart at a time!          

Reference: 

Wang J, Iannotti RJ, Nansel TR (2009) School bullying among adolescents in the United States: physical, verbal, relational, and cyber. J Adolesc Health 45:368–375 

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Are You Full Yet?

Okay so I decided that I am going to break from chronological order and just talk about something that I am really excited about!

Let me just start out by telling you the truth about me. I am pretty cool and all, but I am not assertive. I just kind of go with the flow. When things don't work out nicely I have a tendency to just accept it and move on. Grant it, eventually something always works out even if it wasn't the original plan. However, I would like to be better about making things happen that I really want. 
Let's talk today about personal fulfillment!

Life is all about finding a balance between things. People work their whole lives doing things for others. Parents work to help their children. Husband and wife work to help their spouse. Teachers work to help their students. Do we stop to help ourselves? Do we think about the things that we need?
I am in a special time of life...college. Where most of my decisions are based on my own desires. That doesn't stop me from worrying about everyone around me. Honestly, I think that worry is a genetic certainty with me. I mean do you know my parents? Yep, I was doomed to worry about everything and everyone for my ENTIRE life. Thanks Mom and Dad (I do find their worry kind of endearing, but it also is really taxing)! But none the less most of my decisions are revolved around myself. It is awesome and still really hard. From this vantage point, I notice that many people who are actually responsible for others forget that they are responsible for themselves. Like I said it is a balance. A balancing act between being self less and being self centered. You want to be self aware. Be aware of your own needs and do things that will fulfill those needs.

While thinking about this summer one thing was for sure...didn't want to work 40 hours a week at my current job. I did this all last summer and it was fine. I made money, didn't lose my mind, and I had lots of time to play. This summer I knew that I needed a change of pace. So I started seeking out a plan that would fulfill those needs. After much deliberation I decided to do something totally crazy! I decided to go to Uganda for my internship credits. I was so pumped, but things didn't work out and I was ready to give up on my dream. A very wise woman told me that this is a once in a life time opportunity that will be fulfilling and also fun! So I made some changes and I am going to Uganda for part of the summer! I have always wanted to travel and learn about new cultures. This kind of travel is not very likely after I graduate, have a job, and limited vacation days. So the plan is in motion. I am off to Africa for part of the summer!

Now, honestly this is probably the worst example of what I am talking about, because you don't have to do something crazy to find complete fulfillment. You can find joy and fulfillment in little things.
I have a bucket list. Some of my goals are big things such as: go on a Africa Safari. Other things are just little things that make me happy that I can do any day of the week with little planning. Some of these are: chew as many pieces of gum as you can, leave a note in a random book at the library, propose to a stranger with a ring pop. This week I want you to think about the things that bring YOU joy. The things that you have always wanted to do, bring a smile, or a burst of laughter. Make those things happen (I am trying to be more assertive even here on the blog)!

Think about your needs and this week do one thing totally for yourself!

Need ideas of things to do: take a bunch of goofy pictures and post them to the web (seriously I am dying laughing)!!!

Costumes, Cleaning, and Chitlins

Even though I am a long way from my Cajun home, I am happy to wish you a Happy Mardi Gras!!! If you do know what I am talking about then you just haven't lived. Hahahaha I am just kidding, but it is a fabulous celebration the day before Lent begins. As Mardi Gras was approaching, I thought a lot about traditions. Mardi Gras is a tradition that I grew up with, and it is something that brought a great deal of fun and excitement to my childhood. In school, we would dress up and have a little parade in the hallways. We threw beads and candy to the other students. We went to parades where we ran around and collected all sort of prizes and candy. This has been a wonderful tradition, and I am grateful to be able to share it with my friends.

Traditions can have a long lasting effects on a person, many of these traditions are not things that adults think about, but ideas and actions are being passed down to children everyday. My darling Mother, loves to clean. I know, it is amazing, but while I was growing up we had Saturday cleaning. We would all take a room and and clean for one hour and then we were done. It was pretty horrible as a child, but every time Mom would run over to the CD player and pop in the Beach Boys classics CD. She would turn the volume and just blast Surfin' USA, Help Me Rhonda, and the like. It was a blast! We would dance around dusting and vacuuming while singing at the top of our lungs. My Mom was not trying to instill a love of the Beach Boys, she was just trying to make us clean the house with little to no argument. None the less, I LOVE them and I still listen to the Beach Boys when I am cleaning.

Here is another fabulous Newton trait (I can't really speak for all Newton siblings everywhere, but I pretty sure that most of us would agree on this). My parents communicated about everything. It is pretty great and I really started to notice as I got a little older, but then it was too late. When the phone rang my Dad would answer it and talk. Then when the called ended, my Mom would ask who had called and my Dad would answer. I, however, took things to the next level. When anyone would answer the phone a "chitlin" (This is a nickname my father gave to his children. Mildly offensive, but also endearing.) would ask who called while the person was still on the phone. The "chitlin" would not stop asking until an answer was given. To this day I always bother everyone to learn who is calling even if it is not needed, annoying, and totally uncalled for! Yeah for traditions!

One tradition that can sometimes be passed without a second thoughts is body image. Our feelings about our bodies are also pasted down from parent to child. You may not think about the casual statements that you make about your body, but if you talk negatively about your body the children will hear and mimic.

In a study done by the Stanford University School of Medicine, 50% of sixth graders stated that they would like to weigh less and 16% dieted (Schur, Sanders & Steiner, 2000). These children listen to the adults around them and they mimic the things they see. They recognize that most adults around them do not love their bodies and are not satisfied with the way their body looks. I don't know if that is as shocking to y'all as it is to me?! They are so young, and yet already they have clear ideas and stereotypes. We have to be really careful about the way that we talk to others about their bodies and about our own. It does make a difference! 

I was given this article and I thought it was great!

Go read about How to Talk to Your Daughter About Her Body!

I think this article applies to how you talk to anyone, including yourself! How do you think we can improve our conversations about our bodies? Don't hate! It has been taking care of you for a while! Lead by example and be positive about your body! It loves you!

(Speaking of traditions, do you like our door minion? He is now a tradition and gets dressed up for every major event!)