Books, glorious books...

I know that it isn't aways apparent, but I started blogging to try to work through my own thoughts and memories. I wanted to create some mathematical equation that would equal positive self-esteem. It seemed that everything would fall into place and it would become clear as I wrote everything out, but the truth is that every life is different. My experiences are not the end all be all but I hope that they have helped you in some way. I have tried to be a reminder that you are enough! You are beautiful and you are loved! 

Moving on with time line of my life and experiences, I find it fitting that the next thing on my list is literature. I decided a few weeks ago that I would reread the Harry Potter books. I just put down the 5th one and after I wiped away the tears I remembered that I needed to type this up. 

      Found on: parade.condenast.com

Books have always been a part of my life. Both of my parents love to read and we read as a family often. I remember Dean reading The Chronicles of Narnia out loud to Melanie, Trevor, and me when I was about 7. I remember the fascination I felt as he made the world of C.S. Lewis come alive. We read scriptures as a family every evening and although sometimes I pretended to be asleep so I wouldn't have to take my turn I learned to love those words as well. 

I have forever been grateful to the people that taught me how to read. In 1st grade my teacher kept me in at recess to help me learn how to read. Sounding out the words was hard for me and I didn't take the time to do it well so learning to read smoothly was hard for me, but my teacher was determined to help me if I was willing to work at little extra. So I stayed in at recess and sometimes after school to work on reading. My parents helped my find books that were interesting so that I would want to read. 

I loved the Ramona books and they made me feel like a pretty awesome child. I was no where near as crazy as Ramona. I loved reading the stories about Br'er Rabbit and that gang. I totally understood the desire for adventure that Jamie and Claudia felt in the Mixed-up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler. Since reading that book I have longed to run off and live in the Metropolitan Museum of Art for a few days just to see if I could do it. One summer I decided that I would learn new things and I would write them down and file them in a way that only I would understand. It work for Mrs. Frankweiler, but to be perfectly honest I didn't remember where I had filed anything...so yeah...not my best idea. 

         Found: m.memegenerator.net

As my love for literature grew I became better friends with the librarians. They helped me find books that opened my eyes to worlds outside my own. I cried and cried while reading the Island of the Blue Dolphins, but it taught me about loyalty and courage. I read Number the Stars and caught a small glimpse of life in occupied Poland during WWII. I recognized that fear and hatred are a dangerous and deadly combination and that understanding the lives of others will help us to avoid fear. I read the Giver and Gathering Blue which taught me to cherish my experiences the good and the bad.  

When my Grandfather died I looked to my bookshelf and pulled out Anne of Green Gables. I ran through the familiar pages until the end when Mathew dies. Anne and I comforted one another as the reality set in. 

I was positive that Jo from Little Woman and I were the same person, and yet hoping against hope that I wasn't Beth. If I was Beth then it must mean that I would die young, because obviously that is what happens to everyone who is sweet and selfless.

I read hundreds of books (once I tried to make a list of every book I had ever read after writing down about 900 titles I gave up because it was cutting into reading time). Each one showed me that I was not alone. I was not the only girl in the world who ever felt friendless or lost. As I grew, they grew with me. My friends that would never leave me. Books showed me that I am not alone and I am also not the center of the universe. Other people have problems and struggles. We all just do the best with what we are given. 

I could go on for ages about the wonderful books that I have read. Millions of things I have learn from authors. If you knew how many days I have spent reading you might worry about my social skills but rest assured I also like people!  :) Books helped me see what things I liked in people and the characteristics I wanted to develop in myself. Some taught me that I can go hard things, other taught me that I don't have to do them alone. Some just made me smile! Oh, the wonderful things you find in books. 

I have felt that my books are on my side, helping me see the world and also myself in a positive light! As I finished reading the 5th Harry Potter book this quote was a beautiful representation of how I feel about my books.

"He somehow could not find the words to tell them what it meant to him, to see them all ranged there, on his side."

 You can call me cheesy that is fine by me. I just love books! 

What book has influenced you the most and why?